I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
