yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
