Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize