Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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