I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
