so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
