How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
