You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
