in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
