It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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