Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
