I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
