her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
