His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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