i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
