Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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