Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
