and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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