he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
