Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize