Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
