My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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