if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
