Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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