covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
