I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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