chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
