beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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