You're my little dorito
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
