so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
