i may or may not be watching the land before time
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
