We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize