One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
