It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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