I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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