guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
