Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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