I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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