he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
