took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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