grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
my shit smells like andre
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
