We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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