is your mom at the bar?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
