If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
