So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize