Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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