like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
