Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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