My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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