wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
