people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
