Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
This couple is walking their pig around campus
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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