I looked at my own cervix.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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