i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
