Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
