I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
