Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he thought i was a dude.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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