why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
