Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Randomize
