Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
