trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My bed smells like the plague
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize