they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
