He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
