omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
two words...techno handjob
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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