So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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