i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She bit a glass in half.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
