just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize