we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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