do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
