Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
